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Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node

It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.
Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTu…

North Node in Aquarius: The Free-Spirited Soul

Since Aquarius is such an advanced, progressive energy and the North Node is about learning how to progress and grow, the North Node in Aquarius is an excellent placement. Personal growth can occur in exceptional and startling or shocking ways. It’s all about becoming very attuned to something bigger than yourself. Aquarius is future-oriented and having the North Node in this sign means that you can truly see a vision of yourself being a better, bigger person. In order to reach this higher self, you are overcoming the trap of your ego.

When a person has an Aquarius North Node, they also have a Leo South Node. So, you are coming from a past of wanting recognition for being special and amazing. In a past lives’ context, you were a very important person in your most recent past life. You fed off of the admiration, the applause, and the attention of other people. Leo South Node individuals were most likely famous in their past life, as politicians, performers, or public figures. You might have even been lucky enough to have been a member of royalty. But, even if you weren’t a monarch, you were treated like a glorious king or queen. You ruled in this past life yet the South Node shows issues that occurred in the past life because of this “monarchy.”

Therefore, you ruled with an iron fist or you let the head that held the crown become massive. A person with their South Node in Leo had an out-of-control ego in their past life. It led to arrogant, self-absorbed, domineering, and/or snotty behavior. But, the South Node is what we never let go of in that past life. So, you left that life with a giant ego and came into this one with a giant you’re your karmic debt, therefore, revolves around taming your self-obsession, which is going to get in the way of a true connection with others. Leo South Node people have huge hearts, which makes you gravitate toward romance and passion. Yet, the passion easily becomes a drama. Did I mention that being highly dramatic is also a problem for this South Node? Because it is. In your past life, there was never a dull moment. Those with this placement were fantastic actors, either by profession or just by personality, and all the world was our stage. But, did you ever learn to get off stage and turn off the drama? Not really.

Now, you might not believe in past lives. Yet, you can still look back and see how your Leo South Node dominated your past in this life with its bad habits. Your worst habits come from acting as if you are the center of everything. You can behave as if you are the protagonist of some dramatic movie that will never end. This not only makes you self-absorbed but it’s going to make you treat everyone else as if they need to play their part. You can all too easily give people roles to play because you are constantly playing the role you feel you need to in order to gain that applause or be special. So, South Node in Leo makes one easily disappointed, annoyed, or even outraged when others aren’t giving a good performance like they are. Having this placement can compel you to demand that people act like a lover or a best friend or a colleague is “supposed” to act, instead of just giving people the freedom to be individuals.

What happens because of that? Well, you never really get the fulfillment of acting out this drama that we seek. Being the center of attention and trying to get everything and everyone to bend to your will is just going to make you feel empty. The Universe is set up to deny us our South Node, if you go to extremes with it. Now, I firmly believe that people should not “leave behind” their South Node. There are excellent things about the South Node. But, to access those more positive traits, you have to be balanced out by your North Node.

That’s where we get to the Aquarius North Node. While the South Node is the more comfortable, familiar soul-expression for you, the North Node is the higher, more enlightened soul-expression. And it’s not exactly that you’re “learning” to be your North Node. It’s just that you are developing more conscious awareness of the North Node because it’s already in you. It develops through a constant dissatisfaction with your South Node. That’s the funny thing about everyone’s South Node. We cling to it even when it doesn’t make us happy. The South Node is like that job that gives you basic security but isn’t fulfilling. The North Node is like the job that you really want to do but might have pushed it to the back of your mind because it’ll take you out of your comfort zone.

Aquarius North Node people have to be very humbled by life in order to access this part of themselves. After a lifetime of pursuing the superstar role, of trying to be widely adored, of attempting to find that life-defining passion with someone else, you will still come up short somehow. Maybe you don’t find that fame or recognition you searched for. Maybe you are continually being ostracized or judged socially. Maybe you end up single for forever or bouncing from one empty love affair to the next. These situations will be painful but they will break down your ego and allow you to develop the ability to care less and less about being fabulous and adored. The more Aquarius North Node is denied the amazing lifestyle that they crave so much, the more they will be able to get in touch with their free-spirited nature and let go of what people think.

So, the higher self of someone with their North Node in Aquarius is capable of not being in it for themselves. When that glorious fame or magical love doesn’t come to you, the art of healthy detachment is mastered. When people with this placement are in this mode of thinking, they can truly blow wherever the wind takes them. You have a habit of wanting what you want and when you want it, which is what can make you so demanding or spoiled. But, getting in touch with your inner detachment allows us to release what we want. And when you do, greater things end up coming back to you. Therefore, your truest soul-expression allows you to see that life is random and unpredictable. It cannot be scripted or controlled. A high tolerance for chaos must be cultivated.

Aquarius North Node people also rise above their self-obsession when they stop worrying about their “celebrity.” At the same time, you will always be quite self-aware. That’s the foundation that the Leo South Node instills. But, this sense of self can just be expressed as an amazing self-awareness, knowing exactly who we are. Then, true self-confidence is experienced. When you’re unbalanced with the Leo South Node, you are just faking the confidence, when in reality you’re very obsessed with others’ approval. But, when you evolve and consciously express your Aquarius North Node, other people’s approval becomes much less important. You have the acceptance and love that really matters: the self-love of your South Node in Leo. So, stop trying hard and learn to just coolly rest in that inner confidence, without having to put on such a show. You don’t get anywhere when you try so hard, anyway, because people have a way of sensing it and seeing it as an obsessive performance, which it is.

Therefore, developing that true self-confidence makes you want to make other people the superstars. Your fame stops being important to us. Instead, you will want to shine a spotlight on what makes other people special. In a less evolved mode, you constantly hit a wall when you try to make your specialness so visible and known. But, through that process, you unconsciously develop the ability to notice what’s wonderful about the people around you and why they’re getting the recognition that you’re not. As a result, the conscious Aquarius North Node is there to applaud others, to show each and everyone that they are a individual worth recognition in their own right. The ego is being transcended, in this stage. You already know you’re special and important. Now, you’re the egalitarian, wanting others to know that they have something special and important to offer, as well.

This focus on other people is very important for the Aquarius North Node’s spiritual development. It also helps to focus on higher ideals and causes. Whenever you’re in something just for our own fulfillment, it’s not going to get anywhere. So, with this North Node, your greatest potential comes from being able to contribute something important to society and this world. You must stretch yourself beyond concerns of the self and become focused on concerns of the collective. Are you opening people’s minds? Are you introducing and developing interesting concepts and meaningful projects? Are you helping to change the world around you? This is where your spiritual growth lies. You can no longer be solely concerned with how something in the world affects only you. It’s not just your world anymore. It’s everyone’s world and you just live in it.

North Node in Aquarius people find their true success in being innovative, championing causes, promoting projects, and/or working outside of the mainstream. When you go against the grain, you express your true soul nature. Aquarius North Node individuals are rebels and nonconformists at a soul level. So, you have to allow yourself to go crazy or get weird, without worrying about the response from your “audience.” Your higher self is independent-minded and sort of eccentric, not caring too much what people think. After all, this free-thinking gives you the space to do the innovation and experimentation that you need to do. When you take true charge of yourself via your Leo South Node, without seeking others’ approval, no one will really be able to influence you. And as a result of owning yourself so strongly, you can give other people the freedom to totally be whoever they want to be, within rational limits, and not judge them for it.

So, your greatest soul-expression allows people to feel very accepted and befriended. You can make a wide range of social connections, thanks to your powerful social skills. Aquarius is very friendly and approachable. Yet, the legendary aloofness of this sign is balanced out by the giant heart and deep-seated warmth of your Leo South Node. So, you have enormous charisma at your disposal, as you can blend cool casualness with a lively exuberance and generosity. The fact that you’re such a natural performer also helps you socially and creatively. You are very charming and magnetic, with a lot of presence. Therefore, you’re capable of effortlessly reeling your audience in, no matter how crazy or unusual your presentation is. You know how to command a crowd and have people eating out of your palm. But, at this stage, you’ll be doing it for something beyond the self.

With the North Node in Aquarius, you are meant to understand very advanced topics and concepts. You’re meant to strengthen your intellect and your brilliance. Your soul is tired of the unfulfilling focus on your love life, your clothes, your favorite celebrities, your best attributes, etc. You have to move beyond superficial or ego-driven preoccupations. There is a real genius inside of the soul of every Aquarius North Node. You must develop this potential, charging up your brainpower with exciting, fascinating, and out-there subjects. People with this North Node exhibit a very powerful interest in anything from astrology to science to technology to the study of human nature. They eventually become avid astrologers, scientists, tech-specialists, or observers of the human condition because of this, blending sharp logic with strange intuition in that Aquarian way.

The more you focus on these things beyond the self, the less of a yearning for drama you will have. Again, there is an objectivity that is required when you have the North Node in Aquarius. It’s not to say that you will no longer be dramatic. There will always be a drama queen or drama king inside of those with this placement because of the South Node in Leo. But, you need to be able to objectively use this dramatic flair. How can you channel this passionate, theatrical energy in ways that will still keep you clear-headed and objective? The answer is through some sort of creative outlet.

Aquarius North Node people are particularly creative, in some way or another. It just comes naturally to you. So, you have to apply that drama to something else. It has no room in your life. This is what makes us such great performers, in more ways than one. Maybe the outlet for your drama comes from acting, writing, or singing. Maybe it’s through being able to present things to people in entertaining, colorful ways. And when you need to entertain, you absolutely entertain. But, balance with these Nodes comes from being able to use your dramatic side in an impersonal way, snapping into being highly emotional or the center of attention, when needed creatively, and then snapping right back out of it.

The people in your personal life will be thankful, as it really allows you to chill out. Yet, those with an Aquarius North Node are amazingly chill individuals. There is a certain “craziness” to this energy. But, it’s more of a quirky-crazy than an exhausting-crazy. When you get rid of unnecessary drama, you realize how much better you feel when you keep a cooler head. This also allows you to stop being such love-struck schoolboys and schoolgirls all the time. Thanks to that impassioned Leo South Node, when you crush or fall in love, you crush or fall in love hard, to a point where it’s rather embarrassing. Once those feelings of passion kick in, you start having delusions of grandeur about your love life or your romantic interest. But, when we stop making your life a drama, you remain more objective. You don’t get so caught up in the whirlwind of romance. You will still be loving and sincere and warm. But, that side gets balanced by a cool confidence that not only takes the pressure off of your lover but makes you more attractive to them. When you want the other person too insistently, it can push them away.

As much as you want to be in love and be passionately connected, you have to detach somewhat. Having the North Node in Aquarius means that you cannot base your fulfillment on who you fall in love with. This makes you unbalanced and will keep them from ever really satisfying you. Instead, you have to find your satisfaction through projects, ideals, and causes that keep you engaged with the greater world. When you do, your love life will actually become more satisfying. People with an Aquarius North Node have the soul of a mad scientist, always tinkering away at one experiment or another. And you must remember that you cannot and should not control the results. It’s very easy to try to have your way all the time, with this placement. But, you should be willing to just let things happen. Just see where things go, without some expectation of what should happen. When you creatively and brilliantly live in the chaos, your free spirit within will flourish.

This article is included in my e-book, The North Node - Your Soul's Purpose, which is comprised of all of the old North Node articles from this blog as well as new descriptions of what it means to have the North Node in certain houses.