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Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node

It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.
Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTu…

North Node in Scorpio: The Passionate Soul

If you were born with the North Node in Scorpio, you were meant to evolve into an impassioned, empowered individual. There is a higher self within that understands and embraces the depths of life. Everyone’s North Node is located deep down within themselves. But, with a Scorpio North Node, this is a part of your soul that goes especially deep. In this life, you will realize your greatest potential when you can make life something that gets your heart pounding and your blood racing. For you, things are supposed to be a bit risky, slightly dangerous, allowing you to teeter right on the edge. It might not make sense but embracing a bit of that danger is what you’re made for. What your soul really wants is to engage in a high-wire act, with not much of a net underneath. It’s through this approach that you will embrace the emotional power that you have within.

But, what could stand in the way of this life-changing intensity? Your Taurus South Node, of course. With this placement, it is all too easy to get stuck in your ways. I think Scorpio North Node people have one of the most challenging, if not the most challenging, paths to walk because your comfort zone is so comfortable that you just don’t want to leave it. In fact, it might not make any sense at all to leave it. Yet, your natural common sense can be much less effective when you dig in your heels and refuse to budge. With the South Node in Taurus, your worst habits come from being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, unable to go with the flow of the inevitable changes of life. Therefore, you might feel like you’re being totally practical by sticking to your routines, clinging to your possessions, or insisting on your values. But, little do you know that these things have gone past their expiration date and being unable to do away with them will only hurt you, in the end.

We look at a person’s past life when we look at the South Node. Having the South Node in the sign of Taurus tells me that you experienced a ton of comfort, ease, and luxury in either your most recent past life or a very recent one. In this former existence, you could just kick back and relax. There was a lot of simplicity and groundedness to this lifestyle. In many ways, you were very skilled at establishing security and stability for yourself. All you needed was plenty of money, good food, nice things, and the people you loved to be happy. You were far from a complicated person. But, this ended up shooting you in the foot, after a while. You were so simple-minded that you were unable to handle the complexities of life, of yourself, or of other people. Anything that was too intense, dramatic, or chaotic was resisted by you. But, the thing is that you were so insistent on things being peaceful and stable that the slightest disturbance could feel like unwelcome drama.

Due to your inability to put yourself through these emotional fires, you never really grew as a person. You remained very stagnant on a psychological level. Since you were so practical, you didn’t see the reason why you had to change your ways. You equated happiness with the things that you owned. So, as long as you had financial and material security, why complain? But, this kept you in a very superficial mindset, unable to understand the deeper elements that were at play in your psyche, in your relationships, and in life in general. You were too busy counting your cash! One possibility with the Taurus South Node is that you went through your past life as a very financially well-off person. Maybe you were born into money and just never had to worry about it. But, this created an attitude of greed and materialism that racked up some negative karma. Another possibility is that you weren’t born into money. Instead, you displayed the determination needed to establish a very self-made wealth for yourself. But, like the spoiled and self-indulgent type, you too displayed a really greedy attitude toward money, probably because you never had it before.

The ways in which you made your money were utterly practical; a little too practical. Whether you came from a wealthy background or created your own material comfort, you were given the message that the bottom line is all that counts. Go out and make money! But, what about the motivation behind it? Making money for money’s sake is a trap you really fell into in this former lifetime. It’s something that prevented you from knowing and investing in your true passion, especially if it didn’t provide stable or practical income. This lack of passion defined your relationships with others, as well. While you were a laidback, reliable, and down-to-earth person, the intimacy of these relationships suffered because you were never willing to truly go deep. Instead, you settled for a ho-hum, uneventful way of connecting to others. No depth, no fire, no real intimacy; just sitting around and having dinner and reading and going to bed and doing it again.

A big reason behind this was how easy it was for you to fall into a routine and remain trapped within it. South Node in Taurus people are coming from a past where they stuck to the “same old, same old” in various ways. On a very basic level, it meant that you were an absolute creature of habit who couldn’t conceive of changing these habits. Change was a very terrifying concept for you in your past life. It was a deep threat to the security you worked so hard for. The slightest change in your life could send your normally calm self into a complete freak-out, as if it meant that the entire sky would come crashing down. Also, you found psychological habits just as difficult to break, if not more. You often saw no practical reason for it, even if these habits drove people away or ruined relationships. You were so insistent on being comfortable and at ease that you wanted desperately to believe that you didn’t have any problems or issues that couldn’t be simply, easily resolved. But, of course, life is not that simple for anyone.

These problems went unresolved in this last life of yours. Therefore, they have been carried over into this lifetime in order to be settled and dealt with. Even if you’re not into the theory of past lives, all of what I just said has definitely manifested in your past in this current life. No matter what, Taurus South Node people are coming from a past, in this life or in another one, where their stubbornness, superficiality, and self-indulgence got the best of them. It’s all going to come to a head now, in the present. The breakthrough moment for you, in terms of your South Node, could be the fact that you are so stuck in a rut that you feel like you’re in quicksand and you can’t get out. It might come from having a supposedly happy, stable life but feeling like it’s all very empty and meaningless. It could also be that you want to develop a deeper, richer emotional life, creating a connection to the self and others that is far more complex than just everyday living.

This is when you know that you’re ready to embrace your Scorpio North Node. The Universe keeps denying us what our South Node wants and/or makes that area of life difficult until we focus on our North Node. So, if you remain preoccupied with practical, routine, predictable living, you are going to continue to hit a wall until you wise up. With the North Node in Scorpio, there is an intense part of your soul that has unconsciously developed in response to this over-simplicity. Deep down, you have wondered if there is more to life than this. All the mysteries and subtleties and complexities that make up the human existence are what you have been unconsciously craving. This inner yearning has constantly undermined your overly straightforward mentality. Every time you try to keep it simple, there’s this nagging feeling inside of you that something else is going on.

While one of the negative traits of Scorpio is paranoia and suspicion, with the North Node in this sign, it’s more of a healthy suspicion. Nothing and no one are entirely what they seem. Gaining conscious awareness of this allows your higher soul-expression of the psychologist and the detective to rise to the surface. In order to evolve, you must be willing to dig deep and figure out what’s really going on. First off, this translates to other people. By transforming the expression of your Taurus South Node, you will be able to use this grounded simplicity to support the shrewd, uncanny intuition that your Scorpio North Node is capable of. After all, like I always say, it’s about transforming the South Node, not leaving it behind altogether. If you use your natural levelness as a base for your “investigations”, you will display the common sense needed to see very straightforwardly into the hidden truths around you. You’ll be able to read people and situations as easily as you would a book because those complicated answers come to you with complete ease.

This insight should be turned inward as well as outward. As a Scorpio North Node, you realize your greater potential by being able to investigate yourself, as well. Instead of seeing introspection and psychoanalysis as being silly and unnecessary, you must see the value in this process. The thing is that, as a person with the South Node in Taurus, you have very strong values. That’s why they’re so difficult to budge. So, whatever you see as valuable, you will manifest it and maintain it in wonderful ways. Therefore, you have to develop your internal awareness and see the understanding of your deeper emotions as a very valuable thing, like a currency. In fact, you have to – and stay with me here – see your inner life as being more valuable than the money in your pocket. The North Node is what we have to focus on, while the South Node is what we’ve already had enough of. You’re already experienced in material riches. Now, you have to build your emotional riches.

The way I like to see the dichotomy of Taurus and Scorpio is that Taurus makes you financially rich and Scorpio makes you psychologically rich. When you invest in your “emotional currency”, you win in this lifetime. The Scorpio North Node means that you need to work just as hard on and be just as dedicated to developing your inner depth. Take the time you need to reflect in a profound way. Explore any issues from your past, figure out what’s going on with you emotionally, examine any barriers or defenses that are getting in the way of you and true intimacy. In this way, you will earn a lot of valuable emotional resources. That’s what Scorpio is about to me: inner resources, not other people’s money. And these inner resources are needed to get you through tough times, to overcome your issues, and to amazingly transform yourself.

In doing this, you will have to discover some unsettling things. Because of your comfort-loving Taurus South Node, it is a significant challenge for you to embrace those uncomfortable emotions within. Scorpio North Node folks can spend a great deal of their lives fooling themselves into thinking that they don’t have a dark side; that they don’t get angry, depressed, jealous, self-loathing, or just plain irrational. But, here’s the thing: you can’t find true fulfillment in this lifetime until you deal with those difficult feelings. With this placement, you experience spiritual growth by embracing that scary person you have inside of you. This shadow self might scare you more than anyone, especially since you would much rather prefer that everything remain stable and easy. But, understanding the ways in which you can be potentially unstable actually brings great rewards. For those who have the North Node in a Water sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), the Element which represents emotion and irrationality, positive growth comes from being able to go a little psycho.

I’m not saying become destructive and criminally insane. What I am saying is that you have to understand your shadows and know what to do with them. The best way to put it to you, thanks to your pragmatic Taurus South Node, is seeing those emotions as needing a “savings account.” You can store away your rage, hatred, sadness, or scariness in this psychological savings account, managing it and saving it up until you really need to use it. This might mean when you need to have a moment of real emotional honesty with someone, when you need to face and overcome certain issues, once and for all, or just when you need a cathartic release. Getting into something artistic can work wonders for you because it allows you to get all of that out! Your shadows cannot be ignored in this life. If they are, they will find a way to make you increasingly stagnant until you’re just hit with such overwhelming boredom and complacency that you’re desperate to make a change.

North Node in Scorpio people are figuring out that, deep down, they don’t want many dull moments. This is what makes you the passionate soul. You actually don’t want everything to be nice and easy. You want to experience some tempests, some trials and tribulations. You might actually end up sabotaging yourself, in this sense, because you can unconsciously get yourself stuck in some really upsetting situations just to wake yourself up. Your Taurus South Node finds it hard to let go once it’s invested. So, you may have a habit of attracting or creating some upsetting, intense situation and then not being able to get out of it. And while you may convince yourself that everything is fine, an inner storm is brewing that becomes increasingly hard to ignore. Eventually, something will have to explode or implode to get your attention. You’re incredibly hard-headed, to a point where you miss what’s really happening. So, often times, change happens in your life that’s not at all of your doing. The Universe forces it on you and keeps doing it to the point where you can no longer say “no.”

This is a process that you need to embrace. Just let the transformation happen. Don’t cling so hard to what or who you have. Also, don’t insist so much on possessing things and people so tightly. I’m not saying don’t seek stability. You will always have a knack for being grounded and living a relatively consistent life. But, you should also keep a loose hold on what or who is around you. In doing so, you will actually end up feeling so much better. I can’t think of a better metaphor for this placement than the show “Hoarders.” These people keep endless stuff for years and years that have completely worn out their use or that are actually making themselves or their lives much worse. Then, once it’s all cleaned out, they feel so much better and a process of emotional purging and healing takes place. You are a hoarder, on a literal or metaphorical level. So, let your “space” be cleaned out, overhauled, transformed. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the wonders that it works.

It can not only heal you emotionally but it can also rebalance your finances. In spite of how sensible you are by nature, there is a part of you that can mishandle money through unnecessary spending, accumulating, or hoarding. Whether it’s the storage space that you have to pay for every month for that stuff you never use or the new car you just had to buy even though you have a perfectly fine one in the driveway, you will financially benefit from letting go of what no longer serves you. Those with a Scorpio North Node are figuring out how to do this with people, as well. You might put up with toxic family members and friends far beyond the point where you should’ve requested some distance or even cut them off. If you stop being so attached to a consistent picture of your life in your head, you can take the time to visualize what will truly fulfill you. In doing this, you can use your natural gift of manifestation, weeding the negative people out and drawing the people toward you who will truly support you. Also, it takes just as much courage for you to figure out how you might be behaving as an unhealthy influence in someone else’s life and what to do to change.

Your North Node in Scorpio is requiring some fierce, often ruthless emotional honesty. Embrace what you’re really feeling, even if, or often especially if, it hurts. This will allow you to get truly real with the people in your life, not just clinging to a level of predictable harmony. I’m not saying be cruel or vicious. But, do not hold back, on a general level, and see who can stand the heat. Those who can appreciate, respect, and honor your emotional truth are the keepers. This translates on a sexual level, as well. The development of your passion is also about sex. But, it’s not just about “doing it.” It’s about all the feelings, needs, and complex desires that drive sex. You need to take a more nuanced, insightful view of sexuality. In doing so, you will not only be able to emerge as a sex-positive being but wield your powerfully healing touch on your partner. By creating a truly intimate dialogue where you both can be fully honest about what you want sexually, no matter how light or dark it is, you will be living out your higher self, with no shame and no fear.

This article is included in my e-book, The North Node - Your Soul's Purpose, which is comprised of all of the old North Node articles from this blog as well as new descriptions of what it means to have the North Node in certain houses.