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Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node

It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.
Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTu…

7th House People: Reflecting and Relating

You’re a 7th House person if you have one or more natal placements in your birth chart’s 7th House. I happen to be one because I have the Sun and South Node in my 7th, conjunct in Leo, as well as Mercury conjunct Mars in Virgo here. Since my Sun is here, this house represents my essential, core self, a major element of my identity. So, I know that being a 7th House person isn’t exactly easy. It’s not a “difficult” house per se but it’s definitely not a simple house, either. This is the house of one’s relationships and when are relationships ever simple? Things here get complicated, like they do with a frustrating love interest, an unfulfilling marriage, a close friendship that’s growing apart, or a business partnership that’s unraveling. But, just how much of that is due to them and how much of that is due to you? The boundaries here are hard to trace or establish, at times, but not in the confusing, ambiguous 12th House way. It’s more so about projection. This can lead to interpersonal issues yet it can also be the source of plenty of fulfillment between both people.

7th House people can be subjected to major projection from others, both positive and negative, and also heavily project on to others. It all depends on the planet(s) that you have here. This projection can be something that you highly disagree with, to the point where it seems like the person isn’t even talking about you, or that you find yourself going along with so much that you start seeing those traits within yourself. It all comes down to the fact that you can find it hard to identify with what’s in your 7th House, for better or for worse. With Saturn in the 7th House, you might not feel like you’re that difficult to deal with, that you’re not someone with negative energy or who is closed off or unavailable in any way. As a result, you can draw people into your life who you’re able to transfer this energy to. These individuals might be real pieces of work, truly emotionally unavailable or always weighing you down in some sense. However, the difficulties in their nature can give them the proper perspective to see just how difficult to deal with that you can be.

One of two things can occur. You might refuse to believe that you’re the one making the relationship harder to manage, even though you most certainly are. In fact, they might be much less guilty than you are, in this sense. But, given how “cold” they might seem, it’s very easy for you to think that they’re the problem. This pushes them further and further away, seeming to confirm what you’ve believed about them. The other possibility is that you can come to believe that it is actually all your fault, when the other person is the one who should be taking accountability. In the process, the relationship becomes more and more of a struggle because you can’t possibly carry all of the weight like that. With Saturn in the 7th, you have to step back and recognize that your relationships can only work if there is an equal amount of accountability going on. You give what you get here. So, if you’re not stepping up to the plate and putting in enough effort into your relationships, they’re going to fail because you’re going to end up with people who expect you to do so. Yet, if you beat yourself up too easily, you’ll attract people who are all too willing to make you their punching bag.

The way to make your 7th House planets work is to follow that golden rule of “treating others how you want to be treated.” You’ve got to give others the energy of your 7th House in order to receive it from them. This means you have to simultaneously own that energy and see it in the other person. If you have a 7th House Sun, like I do, you’re being asked to see yourself as a shining light for other people. You’re meant to beam warmth and benevolence on to others, to make them feel special, recognized, celebrated. This is the only way you’ll be able to feel special, recognized, and celebrated by other people. So, you cannot hide your light under any bushel because other people are meant to feed off of that light. If someone recognizes what makes you awesome, then openly and willingly receive that. At the same time, you’ve got to maintain a sense of equality by redirecting that spotlight to them.

It’s why, as a 7th House Sun, you’re most compatible with close friends, romantic partners, or other people who are capable of soaking up that spotlight. You don’t like a persistent lack of confidence in people yet you cannot truly attract people unless you are very confident in yourself because that will be one of the things people like most about you. Conversely, people also won’t like too much ego in you and you’ll find that relationships with very ego-driven, self-absorbed individuals are almost always a disaster. The 7th House is all about balance and when you’re a 7th House person, you have to learn the meaning of moderation, the importance of give-and-take, in order to successfully co-exist with other people. The drawback of this energy is that you can be too considerate or thoughtful for your own good, at times, thinking so much of how what you’re doing will affect others that you don’t think enough about yourself. Also, it’s very easy to feel offended by the seemingly self-involved, thoughtless behavior of non-7th House individuals who seem to do and say whatever without a concern of how it will impact other people.

With this influence in your chart, you’ve got to consistently manage your expectations of others. When you feel like you’ve given and given and others are just taking and taking, you feel distinctly out of balance in a way that can make a giant mess of your relationships. You can have overly idealized expectations of how people should be that prevent you from taking people as they are. As much as we 7th House individuals are said to excel at partnerships, we’re definitely not faultless, either. Sometimes, we may not take others’ expectations into account because we’re too focused on our picture of how the relationship should be unfolding. Although we need a chemistry and dynamic that truly symbolizes our 7th House planet in order to be satisfied, we also need to make sure that the other person involved is on the same page as we are, is truly compatible with us, or is even capable of giving us what we need. Also, maybe they are capable of giving us what we need but we don’t realize it because their behavior doesn’t totally fit our ideals.

The 7th House describes all kinds of important connections and bonds in our lives. When it comes to romantic unions, however, these issues can specifically arise in a frustrating way. It all stems from the fact that 7th House people are very deeply impacted by the first example of love in their lives, aka the relationship between their parents. If you have any of your “parental planets” in your 7th (the Sun and Saturn, which symbolize the father figure, or the Moon, which represents the mother figure), then this is even truer. Everyone sort of re-enacts their parents’ relationship, to some degree or another, and this is due to everyone having a 7th House cusp (aka the Descendant). But, for 7th House people, this is a really powerful dynamic that can be quite scary if you step back and think about it. Maybe you have Mercury in the 7th and there were major communication issues between your parents that you then find yourself constantly dealing with in your own romantic relationships. Pluto in the 7th can indicate a volatile marriage between the parents that you are constantly re-enacting and the Moon in the 7th could show major co-dependency in that relationship that you find yourself repeating.

Whether the union ended in divorce or a break-up or it lasted for decades, you’ve always been very sensitive to and aware of any underlying issues that were there. Some 7th House people can find themselves significantly taking one parent’s side over the other or, in more dramatic cases, being used manipulatively against the other parent. You might have even had a single parent who was deserted by the other parent, didn’t settle down with one partner for too long, or seemed to not have much of a need for a romantic relationship. There are a ton of possibilities here but whatever your individual case is, you’ll be surprised at how profoundly it’s affected your romantic relationships as an adult. Whether you have major issues dealing with conflict, get off on fighting all the time, cannot commit or give up being single, or cannot seem to go for very long without a significant other, you’ll need to trace it all back to this “marriage myth” (a concept of the 7th House coined by Dana Gerhardt, my favorite astrologer) and re-think your approach to love.

Ultimately, you have the power to attract whatever you focus on into your life. Anyone can but 7th House people have an especially powerful attractiveness. Whatever you think relationships are, that’s what they’ll be. So, watch out for whatever you’re spouting off about relationships (a problematic habit for 7th House people). If you believe you’re always going to be alone and not find someone who you can connect with? You will. If you believe that relationships are nothing but drama, they will be. If you believe that someone makes your life better, then you’ll feel terrible unless you have that companionship. Yet, the great thing about this is that you can dramatically change how your relationships unfold by making a major change in your expectations. Examine any expectations you have of other people that are negative, bringing you stress, or constantly leading to disappointment and do what you can to overcome them and rid yourself of them. Sometimes, it feels like it’s everyone else when, maybe, you’re the problem. It’s not them, it’s you. But, of course, you also need to know when it’s not you and they’re the problem. Believing that there is something “defective” about you as a partner is what attracts people who reflect this belief.

At the end of the day, 7th House people can make exceptional companions. You can be the best friend someone has ever had and a wonderful boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. You have an amazing kind of influence over other people that sways them in the right direction, inspires them, empowers them, helps them grow, or brings out the best in them. Because of this, some 7th House people can feel a sense of emptiness when they’re alone, whether that means not being in a romantic commitment or just spending too much time alone. All people with planets here have a very powerful yearning to relate and connect. But, it’s, again, about balance. You have to stay connected to yourself, as well. Contrary to popular belief, other 7th House people are capable of avoiding this brand of co-dependency, strongly bonding with others while knowing how to be alone, at times. It can depend on the chart, as a whole. Yet, this influence does not mean you can’t be alone or always have to have a romantic partner. This kind of 7th House person comes to understand themselves as someone who can connect with and influence others in ways that go beyond personal closeness.

While the 7th House does show how we get close to people, it shows how we can create any kind of significant connection with someone. Sometimes, that doesn’t actually require connection or a personal bond. 7th House people are very capable of being popular in the public sphere due to an innate ability to appeal to others. You know how to relate to people and get them to like you, doing so with the flavor and style of your 7th House planet(s). This works particularly well for famous people, giving them the ability to attract many devoted, committed admirers (aka fans). Celebrities who have an occupied 7th House, like Lady Gaga and Lana Del Rey and Mariah Carey, for example, usually have a special kind of relationship with their fans, interacting with them on a very personal level, feeling strongly connected to them, or just drawing an intense kind of love from them. With the 7th House showing us how someone gets to know us, when 7th House people acquire a certain fame, they have the power to make people feel like they know them or have some sort of special one-on-one relationship with them, even though they don’t.

This house is how people in our personal lives get to know us. The thing is that the 7th House qualities can be idealized from afar, by fans and admirers and the public. But, once you get more up-close and personal, you see both the good and the bad of the 7th House. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, when you adore someone and when you want to kill them. Those who are close to us can grow to dislike our 7th House qualities as much as they love them. Hopefully, the former does not outweigh the latter because this is when break-ups occur, in friendship or romance or business, and when the one we once adored turns into an enemy. Relationships are about taking the good with the bad but 7th House people are great at weighing the pro’s and con’s. As a 7th House Sun, this is something I’m always doing. Do the negative times/traits cancel out the positive ones or can they be overcome by focusing on the positive? We don’t just do this with other people but with ourselves, as well.

This whole process is why many 7th House people are totally in love with the notion of marriage and just as many have no interest in getting married. The binding nature of the union, the fact that things could turn sour so readily with someone else, is something that can plague us either through direct experience (those with planets in their 7th House tend to have super-messy marriages) or through a constant awareness of it that makes it a turn-off or a non-factor. But, whatever your ideals and expectations are, you’ve got to go about love in your own way. You can’t just get married because you think it’s what you should be doing. Also, don’t resist the notion of marriage just because you believe so much that it’s not for you. Above all else, you’ve got to figure out what will make you genuinely happy in a relationship. 7th House people are very other-oriented but if we’re not truly satisfied, how can we find that satisfaction with others? It starts with you first. Once you’re in the right place, you’ll attract the right people into your life.