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Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node

It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.
Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTu…

Aquarius Rising (Aquarius on the 1st House Cusp)

With an Aquarius Ascendant, you are here to always expect the unexpected. Like the protagonist in some outlandish film, you are never truly prepared for the wild twists and turns in store for you. Sometimes, this sense of unpredictability gives you the feeling that life is a crazy, chaotic ride that you’re meant to enjoy with abandon. Other times, you feel distinctly frustrated, as if things are constantly blowing up in your face. It’s true that no one can ever totally plan for life and that unexpected things occur all the time. But, when you have Aquarius Rising, this notion really dominates your life. Your narrative can never be premeditated. More than anyone else, life just happens to you and you have to go along with it.

There are two ruling planets of Aquarius: Saturn and Uranus. The former is the traditional ruling planet while the latter, which was discovered later, is the modern ruler. I like to think of Uranus as Aquarius’ true ruler while Saturn is a potent yet subtle counterinfluence. Saturn represents purpose, structure, duty, and achievement while Uranus is free, weird, defiant, and challenges the status quo. Therefore, as an Aquarius Rising, you are a rebel yet you also need to have a cause. You need to go against the norm yet for a reason. Sometimes, believe it or not, it’s your rules that need to be broken. This is typically ignored in descriptions of this Rising sign, instead just painting a picture of a carefree anarchist, happily thriving amidst madness. While you are highly independent-minded and nonconforming, you can have a very hard time doing away with whatever structures you have (or think you have) created for yourself. You might rigidly hang on to them, especially since you are used to your life feeling less than stable. This is when the Universe will have its way and will constantly upend your little system. If you try and rebel against what’s happening organically, then there will be consequences, particularly a rising sense of chaos that gets worse and worse as you resist it to remain in control.  

All of this depends on which planet has the stronger influence: Saturn or Uranus. The planet that has more aspects or influence in your chart will determine how you respond to chaos. If your Uranus is stronger, you will find it much easier to just go with whatever happens, not needing to stick to some preconceived notion of what should be occurring, trusting that everything will fall into place. If your Saturn is stronger, you can be a low-key control freak who spends their life learning that its about the Universe, not you, having its way. You will relax into life as you mature, understanding that you only make life more difficult when you resist its flow and that things always have a way of working out for you anyhow.

You can actually rival Sagittarius Risings, at times, with how effortlessly things can work out to your advantage. The key is for it to be effortless, though. You will either very naturally exert little effort into living this ideal life, letting it happen for you instead, or you will learn, through difficult experiences, that the harder you try, the worse things get. You won’t get recognition for your efforts until you stop looking for recognition. This is when all the attention comes your way. But, by then, you’re already too focused on what you’re doing for others. You’re here to free your energy from overly personal concerns and to live for universal ideals. Humanitarianism is so regularly attributed to Aquarius but this has lots of different meanings and manifestations. Any way that you can help or uplift humanity, from being political to doing charity work to counseling people to making art with the purpose of moving and affecting others, allows you to express your individuality in the strongest fashion.

From the beginning of your life, you’ve been both someone who can turn a situation upside down and who can better other people, all while standing out as your own person. Aquarius Risings usually have a place in the birth order of their families that sets them apart from their siblings, if they have any. You might have a significant age gap between you and your sibling or even be an only child. The day of your birth may have been very chaotic, full of starts and stops and detours. There was also this notion that your addition to the family created madness in and of itself. It’s very common for people with this placement to have their families experience significant instability soon after they’re born, such as moving a lot or going through divorce. Maybe you weren’t even born into a stable situation to begin with.

Because of this, life has always felt haphazard to you yet this chaos was also entirely normal. What is normal and what is unconventional? The lines blurred at an early age for you. This is what made you feel very different from everyone else, for as long as you can remember. There might be distinct physical differences between you and your family or you may have a personality or attitude that is unlike any of theirs. A lot of Aquarius Risings don’t even feel very influenced by their family, as far as their behavior and their outlook on life. Instead, you’ve always formed your own ideas and perceptions. In fact, you felt like you were able to use your atypical perspective to help those around you, starting with your family. It’s instinctual for you. Whether through your intelligence, understanding of people, open-mindedness, or ability to keep your cool, you’ve always provided this breath of fresh air.

Yet, we see the innate conflict between your two chart rulers, Uranus and Saturn, because while you are comfortable enough with yourself to be different, you also grow up feeling the deep pain of being a misfit. You weren’t being melodramatic in your adolescence when you went on about how misunderstood you were. You experienced some difficult circumstances in life because of this. It might have been certain people making you feel like you were crazy, not having your unique abilities or ways of learning supported in school, or being harshly targeted for not being like everyone else. But, this only strengthened you, only reinforced your resolve to go against the grain. The Saturn-Uranus influence means that you are very uncompromisingly you, even when it would be much easier to do what everyone else does or bend over backwards for others’ approval. You are able to remain defiant, confident, and even indifferent in the face of judgment (Saturn) because you’re too free to care (Uranus).

One of the most vital signs of an Aquarius Rising is someone who is not who they “should” be, based on society’s rules. Many men with this placement are very comfortable with their feminine side, even at an early age, and can have physical features that are more what we’d ascribe to women: slim bodies, long hair, soft faces. On the flip side, a lot of women with this energy are more masculine in their build and their demeanor, exhibiting more muscular or broader builds, for example. Whatever your race, you take pride in going against whatever stereotypes are ascribed to your ethnicity. The same thing goes for your sexual orientation and you may have a sexual sensibility that is particularly fluid. Any of these traits goes to show people that they cannot put you in a little box and if they try, you will quickly find your way out of there and turn your attention toward more open-minded company.

Freedom is a very vital need of yours. You’re very independent and anyone that knows you knows you need space to do your own thing and be an individual. If you’re not given this breathing room, you will fight back. The rebellious nature of an Aquarius Ascendant is often not so obvious unless their Uranus is overly strong. In that case, you may find it particularly difficult to not see any sort of expectation as pressure or a demand. Otherwise, Saturn’s influence will balance you out and make you a more level-headed, sensible person. That is, until you feel like someone is forcing their ideas on you or trying to control you. Then, you can react in very unexpected ways, like shocking outbursts or an almost ruthless stubbornness. Aquarius is the sign of experimentation and you’re like an experiment, in so many ways. People don’t know when you’re going to blow up or burn down the laboratory until you do. You just see it as their lesson (Saturn) for trying to rob you of your individuality (Uranus).

You have to look at the houses that Saturn and Uranus are in to show you the unique lesson that you’re meant to learn in this life. Unlike Capricorn Risings, your Saturn-ruled cousins, your trials don’t involve as much punishment or restriction. It might feel that way, at times, but you have to remember that the only time you’ll feel restricted is when you fail to look at the big picture. Uranus’ house placement in your chart will tell you how you’re supposed to adjust to this crazy life of yours and the things that are in store for you, in the future, if you develop enough detachment from immediate gratification. If Uranus were in the 10th, that would mean career success and public recognition and acclaim and if it were in your 11th, this would indicate the ultimate freedom and an ability to liberate “the people” right along with you. Saturn’s house placement shows the present price you have to pay for your future goals but how this will only make you stronger and wiser. With Saturn in the 8th, that means grappling with a lot of demons and eventually being free of them. If Saturn were in your 12th, it would indicate a strong sense of loneliness and isolation that you will soon move beyond.

There is definitely a wisdom to you and it is combined with a unique intelligence. Your brilliance is one of your more obvious qualities. But, I’ve found that Aquarius Risings express intelligence in two distinct ways. You might seem very erudite, well-read or well-educated and capable of highly intellectual or philosophical discussions, or you can come off as an eccentric savant, clueless about or oblivious to many “normal” things but a walking encyclopedia of impressive facts and spot-on insights about a particular topic or two. Throughout your life or even at different moments, you may play out both energies. Either way, you can startle people with the depth of your knowledge and the way that you think.

Something about you startles people, in general, and it’s not just the fact that people can’t pin you down easily or that you’re prone to saying or doing out-there things. You regularly seem to appear out of nowhere to people and you even have an appearance that is shocking. There is something unusually captivating about your look and your aura. You’re all too used to the stares or double takes you get from people yet you don’t entirely understand it and it may even startle or irritate you, at times. There is an out-of-the-ordinary magnetism about you. Aquarius Risings have an electric energy surrounding them and this placement is known for having a particular beauty that is unconventional or paradoxical. Some have the typically offbeat appearance while others are cute and adorable yet also icy and untouchable.

Your eyes can be particularly cool, sometimes to the point of being downright glacial. You are a contradictory individual and this extends to your ability to be sympathetic yet chilly, friendly but not too familiar with anyone. This may keep people sort of off-balance with you yet it maintains your ever-important personal space. Just because you’re approachable and kind doesn’t mean people should get too close! Speaking of the eyes, they may be rather wild and wacky. Many Aquarius Risings have classic “crazy eyes” that somehow are just a part of their appeal. You can be both a notably fast talker and walker, the latter of which is helped by the strong, shapely legs that you probably have, since Aquarius rules the calves. This Rising sign produces a lot of tall characters. However, you somehow give off the impression of being taller than you are. Also, like Capricorn Risings, you might be known for your great smile.

Interestingly, due to Saturn’s influence, both Capricorn and Aquarius Risings can appear to be rather intimidating. In spite of how approachable you feel, you may not seem that way to everyone. But, the difference is that while Capricorn Risings aren’t very interested in being approached much of the time, you have a much more avid interest in people. You want to make friends! Aquarius Risings are defined most by their friendships. While you insist strongly on being an individual, you pride yourself just as much on being an amazing friend. Your greatest happiness in life is found through your friendships. When it comes to best friends, in particular, you will find yourself defining certain chapters in your life not by who you were dating or married to or what job you had but by your closest friendships. Your best friends are your true soul-mates, more than any romantic partner, which is usually why you have to find someone who can be a good friend first and then evolve into a significant other, and can teach you more, directly or indirectly, than your parents or loved ones could growing up.

But, while a lot of people will try to be or think that they are your BFF, you will keep a casual, somewhat distant rapport with most people. It’s very typical for Aquarius Risings to have a lot of acquaintances that they know socially, professionally, or randomly yet very few close friends, sometimes just one or two. After all, you live your own planet. You’ve always felt like an alien and may even been called one at times throughout life. This manifests through a big, Martian-shaped head (with either a pointy chin or swollen skull or both) to go along with your big brain. It also means that you can never entirely belong to this planet. Instead, you’re just visiting, taking a lot of notes along the way, giving you the objective, outside-looking-in demeanor that you have.

Although you would think that Aquarius’ mascot is the Alien, it’s actually the Water Bearer. It makes a lot of sense in terms of how you are because it’s a symbol that is simultaneously human (the person carrying the water) and not human (the jug of water being carried). You live your life feeling this way. One part of you can deeply relate to other human beings, in ways that are sociable or insightful or emotionally intelligent, while another part of you just can’t relate at all. You’ve definitely had the thought, at some point in your life, that you aren’t entirely human. You feel like you’re part human and part… something else. At a higher level of awareness, this is what allows you to be a consistently evolved person. It’s like you are embodying and expressing something that is almost more than human or, at the least, the ideal prototype of what a human should be. In the process, you can become increasingly distanced from your fellow man, even as you try to reach out to them or have them in your life. Exploring all of this higher knowledge, reaching a greater state of enlightenment, can be another thing that makes you feel alienated from those who are living seemingly normal lives.

But, again, whatever you do needs to be in service of a purpose greater than yourself. In fact, it usually does, whether you try to or not. So, your personal evolution will ultimately allow the people around you and, even, the world at large to evolve. You’re truly here to make the world a better place and you do so instinctively. All you have to do is be yourself and live your life. Whether you’re being a total nonconformist or actively striving to help people or spreading your knowledge as far as you can, you will bring about change all around you. As the representation of the Water Bearer, you are a tall glass of that refreshing and healing liquid for other people to consume, which is how you can be described in terms of how much you can cool people down or how you’re this attractive being who can draw many people to you.

The question is, though, how many people are you going to be drawn to? You can exist with a much lower level of personal attachment to others than many people do and it’s one of the things that can either make you seem weird to other people or like you don’t care much about them. However, it’s simply natural to you because you’re such an individual. You definitely display a great deal of resistance when it comes to belonging too much to any particular crowd or group. It’s rare for you to have a friend group that you’re always hanging around and, even if you do, you’re going to seek out space on a regular basis and want to do many things alone or with other friends. The truth is that Aquarius Risings are very friendly loners. It’s a rite of passage for a lot of Aquarians to go through a period in life with little to no friends or an ever empty social calendar. This just instills a staunch independence that allows you to move through the world without getting too attached to anyone and, certainly, without following any of these earthlings’ rules. If they judge you or reject you, you always have yourself.

This is an excerpt from my e-book, The Rising Sign - Welcome To Your Life, which delves into all 12 Rising signs and the effect that each sign on each house cusp has on that Rising sign's expression and manifestation. It is an illuminating way to further understand yourself and your life.