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Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node

It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.
Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTu…

North Node in 1st House - 4th House

Your North Node sign’s traits will allow you to simply be yourself. Your challenge is to develop a distinct notion of who you are, separate from other people. In the past, you’ve over-identified with other people, particularly those that you feel a connection with. Your South Node shows you the characteristics that others have brought out in you and how you’ve served as a reflection of other people. It also indicates what you are prone to projecting on to others or what others can easily project on to you. Understanding and cultivating true individuality will be important as well as taking charge of your life. Live exactly the way you want to live and be exactly who you are meant to be, regardless of the responses of others. Deep within your soul, you strive to be this authentic.

You often assume your South Node sign’s traits to be more appealing to others or to connect to them. While you have a knack for interpersonal bonding, you also can give too much of your energy to people, to the point where you’re not getting nearly enough back in return. This either makes you eternally disappointed in others, seeking a love that you feel is hard to find, or a co-dependent who doesn’t understand healthy boundaries. Such patterns bring out the worst in your South Node. By focusing on your North Node’s expression, you will fully understand how to make yourself happy. You’ll be able to put more energy into yourself and what you want out of life. As you do, you’ll find your partnerships balancing out. Keep negative influences away from you, who will act out the worst qualities of your South Node, and make sure that your relationships are supporting your happiness. If they are standing in the way of what your North Node wants, then they have no room in your life because they’re just going to take unnecessary energy from you.

Those with this placement spend a lot of their lives either always in a relationship, centering their lives around someone else, or always single, forever experiencing let downs in love. But, when you focus more on yourself, that will turn around. If you’re the former, you’ll be able to finally be okay being alone. If you’re the latter, you’ll finally find the one you’re meant to be with. Yet, your most important partnership has to be with you. Learn how to really like yourself by appreciating and loving your North Node sign’s qualities. You express your higher self by allowing yourself to truly be seen. You’ve been so used to other people receiving recognition over you. But, you need to put yourself out there and open yourself up to receiving recognition. You evolve by being a true original and individual. Cultivate your own style or look, fully accept your body and appearance, and express your personality without a concern for what people will think. Also, you will be required to trust your instinct and act courageously by facing the challenges that come with your North Node sign. Know that you’re strong and have what it takes to survive and create the life you want.

The expression of your North Node will allow you to achieve stability, both financially and internally. Your soul yearns to live the good life, which not only means making good money and having nice things but having enough inner comfort to truly appreciate your life. Money can’t exactly buy happiness yet you have to know that you’re much happier when you have enough of it. But, this only happens when you feel like you’re enough. Your South Node’s traits can consistently undermine you. Through your South Node expression, you can be particularly destructive, toward yourself and others, and compelled toward toxic, volatile, emotionally unstable situations. It’s like willingly drinking poison. You have struggled, in the past, with some form of a death wish, metaphorically or literally, and may have also witnessed too much death or experienced too much loss and grief.

It’s all too easy for you to be introspective, to do some hard-hitting soul-searching. But, this leads to an obsessively inward-looking expression of your South Node. It becomes hard for you to simply enjoy life and all of its pleasures because you’re too focused on the pain that you’ve experienced or that you anticipate. Even if you think compulsive introspection will heal you, it often does more harm than good, making you overly aware of your emotional issues. Your North Node is challenging you to focus on more practical, material things. You might feel like this is superficial but it’s through learning how to come up from the depths and exist on the surface of life that you evolve. Your higher self realizes that it’s okay for things to be nice and easy. You must pursue the pleasures of your North Node sign and take the time to fully enjoy whatever it enjoys.

In doing so, you’ll create a solid life for yourself. Your destiny lies in building, not destroying. This means being patient enough and grounded enough to develop your powers of manifestation. Realize how gratitude, intention, ease, and the awareness of abundance will consistently draw all that you need materially and financially your way. Though you’ll never have a soulless obsession with money, you must learn to care about it and put a lot of energy into attracting it, earning it, managing it. Once you’re able to develop solid self-esteem by valuing the good qualities of your North Node sign, you’ll recognize that you deserve to make good money and live a comfortable existence. Not out of entitlement but out of a yearning for security and stability. Being more outwardly stable will help you become more inwardly stable, ridding you of much of the emotional drama of your South Node. Although you will always gravitate toward rich passion between you and someone else, you need to focus on creating intimacy with them instead of an emotional roller coaster. Let go of jealousy, paranoia, power struggles, or unhealthy obsession, whether that energy is given or received. The sexual chemistry can be just as great without all of that unneeded intensity. In fact, when you learn to calm and ground yourself, your sex life becomes much more enjoyable as no deep-seated psychological issues will be getting in the way of your physical pleasure.

When you work at your North Node, it will allow you to be an excellent communicator. The art of listening, having an open dialogue and being eager to learn will be mastered when you embrace the qualities of your North Node sign. You need to realize that there is so much for you to learn and that there are many proverbial teachers and classes that you will face that you will be challenged to pass. Through your South Node, you possess a deep conviction that you’re always right or that you have experienced all that you need to know. In the past, you have embarked on various adventures, maybe even to the point of constantly traveling or seeing the world. You also clung to a faith, either a strong sense of positivity or a religion (possibly both), that kept you resilient and got you through life. Because of this, you are a very experiential learner, which can make you not so receptive to the often factual information you’re presented with. You can also feel like you are always on the right path and making the right decision, which makes it very hard for you to be questioned.

Rarely, if ever, questioning yourself, you can blindly express the worst qualities of your South Node sign without seeing the downside of what you’re doing. Being too busy seeing the good in everything, including yourself, can make you oblivious to the negatives of a situation. Also, when people question your motives or point out facts that threaten your beliefs, you can double down or believe they’re just being negative. This is why it’s crucial for you to listen. While you listen to your guides, your God, or your inner compass very faithfully, it’s a challenge for you to truly take in what someone else is saying to you. In the process, you may come across sometimes as dense, obtuse, completely missing the point. Your North Node’s expression, however, will allow you to comprehend things very well. Your soul wants to know the answers and not in a big-picture sort of way. It just wants to know the simple, logical answers. Your higher self will also accept the simple, logical answers of others without seeing these facts as a threat to your entire framework.

You evolve significantly by understanding how to pick people’s brains, keep them engaged in conversation, and see the reasoning behind their ideas and thoughts. Instead of clinging to one way of seeing things, your challenge is to embrace your duality. The contradictions of your North Node sign must be expressed without feeling like that makes you a “bad person.” You easily get very self-righteous, wanting to feel like you’re someone of solid morals, and can judge other people unfairly in the process. It leads to hypocrisy and narrow-mindedness, via the most high-and-mighty expression of your South Node. But, you must let go of that, realizing that the concept of good and bad can be quite relative. You will still have strong morals yet you cannot rigidly hold yourself to those beliefs, either. Give yourself the wiggle room to live out the more questionable or even problematic elements of your North Node. In the end, it’s only going to make you more interesting and more complex. Plus, you will still have this side to you that sees what is correct or incorrect about your behavior and pulls you out of the mess you create. With this placement, the only sin you have to worry about committing is the sin of being boring.

Deep down, you yearn to know where your safe space is. Through the North Node, you will understand what makes you feel at home and how to create the home that you need. Growing up, you may not have truly felt at home with your family, for whatever reason. There wasn’t enough comfort, safety, protection, or support there for you. As a result, you had to grow up quite fast. As a child, you felt like an adult and couldn’t wait to get out into the world and do all of these adult things. This made you into a very goal-oriented person. Your South Node sign indicates how you have pursued lofty goals and ambitions, made a name for yourself in the world, and garnered public respect and recognition. Your past was all about how much you were impressing people or how you were creating the right image for yourself. But, somewhere along the way, you became so busy being who you aspired to be that you forgot about who you’ve always been.

The traits of your South Node may be your way of running from your upbringing and your background. A compulsion to have what you didn’t have growing up or to be more than your family name/lineage has allowed you to accomplish a lot in life. Yet, it has also left you with this feeling that something is missing. No matter how much you achieve or how many people exalt you, what your soul really wants is to have a solid home base. Without a strong support system, you will find that the accomplishments and the recognition that you have feel increasingly empty. After a while, being too focused on work, image, or reputation stops serving you. The pressure of the world’s expectations and demands can seriously wear you down and the feeling that a lot of people know you without truly knowing you starts to make you feel very isolated or distant from others. You then become like a very successful celebrity who is disillusioned by the fame and accolades. The solution is going back to your roots and remembering the importance of your personal life. You’ve spent a lot of time being very public and now you must become more private.

Your North Node will show you how to put the energy into the people who know you and love you just for you, not for what you’ve achieved or who you present yourself to be. You evolve through a strong sense of family. But, this may mean either finally accepting the love of your family, even if it wasn’t entirely what you wanted it to be, or realizing that the family you were born into isn’t the family you needed. Both stances may be required with various relatives. You will also have to create your own loving family. In any case, you won’t be truly fulfilled in life until you have a cozy, loving nest for you and your loved ones where needs are met and a sense of vulnerability is allowed. In this space, you don’t need to feel any pressure to be a certain way. Tapping into your inner child, you can connect and express yourself in a raw manner that’s not premeditated. This will make you more at home with yourself, more capable of being reflective and unguarded, of accepting yourself without being hard on yourself. You’ll always have this strategic side that allows you to brand yourself, connect to the masses, and get ahead. But, through your higher self, you realize that you have already gotten very far in life and you need to not go too far that you stray from home.

This is an excerpt from my e-book, The North Node - Your Soul's Purpose, which is comprised of all of the old North Node articles from this blog as well as new descriptions of what it means to have the North Node in certain houses.