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Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node

It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.
Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTu…

Why I Stopped Being An Astrologer and The Meaning Of My North Node


It’s been almost a year since I made my official announcement that I was going to stop doing astrology readings. After doing that and then revamping this blog, things have changed significantly in my life. For a while now, I thought it would be great to give you just one more article about this whole journey of mine. December of this year will be the official end of my first Saturn Return and it has been such a rewarding time of growth for me. Deciding to stop being an astrologer has been a part of that growth.

Many people were wondering why I not only stopped doing readings but why I decided to change this blog. There were also quite a few people who were not happy about me doing so. Among the negative responses I got, one person told me that I ruined their favorite blog due to “capitalism”, another person told me (in caps, which I hate because it's basically someone raising their voice at me) that my struggle over whether or not I should keep doing it all, like stopping my YouTube channel then reviving it before ending it again, was “immaturity”, and another lovely individual said, in response to my choice, that instead of being remembered, I would end up forgotten and that I was basically a joke.

I wondered how these people ever really called themselves fans of mine.

The majority of the responses I received, however, were positive, telling me that they were sad or disappointed in my choice but that I needed to do what was best for me. At the end of the day, that’s all that really mattered to me. Yet, the negative reactions reinforced the feeling that I had made the right decision.

I felt very fortunate to receive the love, support, and financial success that I did as an astrologer for all of those years and that I’m still receiving as people continue to visit this blog and purchase my e-books (if you haven’t checked any of them out, you can do so here). It was nice to know that I was helping people through my articles, videos, and readings and that my work had made such an impact on them. But, there was always another part of me that struggled to fully appreciate my accomplishments in astrology because a) it was never what I actually wanted to do with my life and b) it fulfilled others much more than it did me.

All these years, I thought I was living out my North Node in Aquarius and in the 1st House by doing this. It’s a placement that’s made even stronger by the fact that I’m also an Aquarius Ascendant. Ultimately, yes, my path as an astrologer was a significant part of my Nodal journey. However, it was simply a pit stop for me. I believe that I had to do this for all of those years in order to recognize what I really wanted to do with my life and how, whenever I’m not living out my true wants and desires, then I feel de-energized, stagnant, and unfulfilled.

Other people wanted me to be an astrologer. Other people would praise me for my takes or my readings and tell me I had a “gift” and how great I was and all of that, which was very nice of them. Meanwhile, I never took it that seriously or saw myself in that way. For me, it was something completely accidental that I fell into that, soon enough, took on a life of its own. I was grateful for the benefits that came with it. I was able to carve out a life for myself through it. As a college dropout who was an arts major, it was a job that allowed me to make money in a way that I hadn’t before, achieving total independence and living the life that I wanted. It also supported my deep need for freedom in that I had no boss, no 9 to 5 rules or expectations, and could do what I wanted and when, as long as things got done.

But, there were things about it that didn’t make me happy, as well. You have to take the good with the bad and no situation is without its downsides. However, it got to a point where the negative aspects took away from my fulfillment and enjoyment. The more clients I got, the more stressful it became. I tip my hat to any working astrologer because I don’t think people realize just how much work it is to do all of it by yourself. Sometimes, I felt as if I was buried in clients and readings. There came a time where I would simply refund people if I felt too stressed out or overworked to do their reading. It seemed to lighten my load but only temporarily. 



Eventually, the Universe started to interfere, showing me how unhappy I was with what I was doing through uncontrollable circumstances that made it harder for me to work. Sometimes, my webcam would stop working and I would be forced to do written readings instead of video readings. But, video readings often seemed easier because writing it all out was more time-consuming. The whole reason why I started doing video readings is because written ones exhausted me. So, then, I would switch back to video readings and other technical issues would persist. My sinuses would even mess up on me while I was talking. It got to the point where I believed I had a bad post-nasal drip. But, strangely enough, whenever I wasn’t doing readings, the symptoms disappeared. And ever since I stopped doing readings, I don’t suffer from it anymore. Can you say psychosomatic?

Also, beyond all of that, there were times where I would stare at the screen and have no idea whatsoever what I would type or say, where I would feel like I had nothing to give. I’d feel so anxious or drained that I wouldn’t even know how to begin. Usually, I would have to just force myself to do it. For those of you who received video readings from me, I might have been freaking out or at the end of my rope before I even pressed record, although you may not even be able to notice because I would always keep it together and, inevitably, get the job done.

It took me a long time to realize how emotionally taxing being an astrologer can be, particularly for myself. This is where my Saturn-Neptune conjunction in Capricorn in the 12th comes into play. I think astrologers with 12th House planets or a strong Neptune will either completely thrive on doing this (those are the ones who I think are truly gifted in this field) or will become so depleted by it that they collapse. Count me in the second category. Writing all of the articles I did for the blog wasn’t really draining (although that stretch of three months or so when I was finishing all my e-books definitely was). But, doing all of those readings can take a toll. My approach was very empathic. Every time I’d do a reading, I would fully experience the person’s birth chart as if it were my own, working through all of their issues, feelings, and fears with all while tapping into the strengths and abilities that came with their placements. I’d do at least three readings a day, five days a week (sometimes six, if I was swamped). Eventually, it became too much. So, I stopped doing readings, realizing that I needed to give that energy back to myself. 

The reason I changed my blog is simply because I felt like I was once again giving endless energy away but in the form of hundreds of free articles that I could be using to support myself during this time of transition. If people loved the articles so much and saw them as so valuable, why not pay for them? I put the ones I deemed as most important in my e-books. Even the ones that weren't included and got deleted had been available for years. Honestly, it's not the end of the world. The negative reactions I received when I made the move reminded me of why I should be looking out for myself. I didn’t get that response when I simply said I wasn’t doing readings anymore. However, when I took down many of the articles people could get for free and announced I was monetizing my work, that’s when certain people turned on me. I was then being “selfish”. One of the aforementioned people even chastised me for putting my “selfish desires” first.

Let me just say that I hate that word: selfish. I’ve had people throw it at me, throughout my life, when it’s not true (I’m never not thinking about how things affect others or how they will react, to a fault) and when it’s just a way for them to make me feel “bad” for pursuing or expressing my desires or setting boundaries. That’s why those reactions were kind of triggering to me. This definitely stems from my Sun-South Node conjunction in Leo in the 7th. Whenever other people have been selfish and can’t see it or admit it and I either resist that or stand up to it, then it has been projected on to me.

My North Node is very complicated. I am learning that I’m not like most Aquarius North Nodes in that they have to learn how to focus on others more. I have actually focused on other people a lot already, thanks to my South Node, all while ignoring my true desires or needs. I have acted like I don’t have needs or desires of my own because I’ve been explicitly told, all my life, that I shouldn’t have them and that I should put others first. But, all 1st House North Nodes, no matter the sign, need to put themselves first. With my Aquarius North Node, doing this will actually help other people because my freedom liberates other people. Whenever I change and evolve, I can show others how to change and evolve. If I am free to do what I truly want, then so are they.

Astrology eventually became a source of stagnation for me, a way for me to continue being self-sacrificial and not pursue what I really wanted. That has always been the arts. I’m a writer in many forms (poetry, screenplays, stageplays, and I’m also working on my first novel). I also act and I’m focusing on producing my own content. This is what I’ve always wanted to do, what I’ve always known I should do, and I gain a greater sense of purpose from it. Just because I’ve succeeded at astrology and shown an aptitude for it doesn’t mean that it’s what I should continue to do forever. You should never put an Aquarius Rising in a box.

Also, the “humanitarian” element of Aquarius is so misunderstood because that can so easily be put in a box, as well. The path of being an artist is something that focuses on humanity and allows me to utilize my deep interest in and insight into other people (like writing stories or becoming a character). It can be helpful or moving to whoever is going through whatever my creative work depicts, revealing universal human experiences and struggles. I am increasingly interested in the collaborative process of creativity, too, which is a balance of my Nodes. I recognize that being at my best can bring out the best in those involved and I can give other people a chance at recognition by getting them involved in whatever I’m doing. In the end, we all deserve an equal share.

I also deserve, like everyone else, to pursue my true calling. I practice detachment in that I don’t obsess over my desires and a preconceived notion of how they should come about. I release an attachment to my desires. After a couple years of not committing to what I really loved, I know that I’m still me, with or without it. But, detachment doesn’t mean that you don’t or shouldn’t have any desires at all. A big part of my spiritual growth these days is understanding how to manifest, how to tap into the universal laws, the metaphysical big picture, in order to live the life I want, which I believe is the perfect expression of my Nodal combination.

It’s become apparent to me how many people in the so-called spiritual community have what is called “spiritual ego.” They think they’re better than others who are apparently living from the ego when, in reality, they are the ones who are ego-driven and self-involved. They look down on others who they believe aren’t as “evolved” or they chastise people for prioritizing themselves first. If you’re an astrologer and people don’t get mad at you for monetizing your blog, they’ll be mad at you for charging a certain price for readings or for charging at all. Where does it end? If you do spiritual work for a living or have thought about it, I’d advise to you always protect yourself and listen to yourself. There are some psychic vampires out there, people who just want to take and take from you however they can. You must take responsibility for your part in that, though. Know your worth, listen to yourself, and pull back or stop whenever it becomes too much. Specializing in spirituality doesn’t make you anybody’s savior. You’re a person, just like everyone else.

All that being said, I don’t want to make it sound like I have hard feelings about any part of this journey. Again, there were still rewarding elements of it and I am so grateful to the overwhelming number of you who have supported me all this time. I’m just saying all of this for the sake of honesty and transparency, as well as for anyone else who may be able to relate. My decision is still final because I know that changing my mind and doing readings again would only be a step backward. I learned that when I attempted to do so, very briefly, a couple of months ago and was met with great resistance, both internal and external. I’m only interested in forward moves.

Right now, as the North Node transits my 5th, my creativity is taking a greater priority than ever. I have been working on a few projects, at the moment. One of them is An Unforgivable Act, my story about a vindictive, calculating character (played by me) who seeks deadly revenge for being cheated on. You might remember that I produced it as a fiction podcast last year. Now, I’m turning it into a five-part miniseries. I plan on shooting the first episode in the near-future and am now doing a campaign to raise the money we need for the production. You can check that out here:


It would mean a lot to me if you supported it by contributing whatever you can. During this phase in my life, I am learning how you should not be afraid of what you truly want and also shouldn’t believe that you cannot get it. The challenging part of this is that I’m entering unknown territory. I’ve had a lot of support and recognition as an astrologer but not as an artist. Yet, that is all the more reason to take the risk and align myself with that path. It’s not even about the outcome as much as it is about being brave enough and having enough self-belief to just do it.

My past efforts to avoid being “selfish” only worked against me, in the end; not just in terms of this path but in many other instances in my life. It doesn't matter what other people think. There is a time and a place for selflessness and it can be a beautiful thing that really helps or heals other people. But, it’s not the way I’m supposed to approach my whole existence. I am supposed to claim what I really want, to speak it into existence and engage in the actions that will allow it to manifest.

Here’s hoping you’re able to do the same.

Much love,

Wayman

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